February 9, 2006
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changes
From Christmas Day through January 7th, I was walking around with a bad
cold without being aware of it. It commenced with an odd stomach flu
followed by symptoms of fever and excruciating stomach pain. I paid the
doctor a visit that Friday (the 7th), who told me that it was just the
common cold.He said that the reason for the odd symptoms was that I failed to take
it easy. Four days rest was all it would take, he deadpanned. His first
statement was right; I rarely get feverishly sick, so I tend to shrug
off colds and function as usual.Since my doctor was in central New Jersey, I decided to head to my parents' house and stayed there until that Monday.
That weekend was when I ascertained that I had to make some changes in
my life. I basically felt like I was resisting change ever since I
graduated with my masters in December 2004. Moreover, I also realized
that since then, I've become more cynical, stubborn, and moody.I think both my heart and one half of my mind are craving change, but
the other half of my mind remains stubborn. Immediately, you can see
that there's a clash, so psychologically speaking, the mood changes
aren't surprising at all. That being said, I need new goals and
something different to strive for.So as of about twenty minutes ago, I've officially started the process.
I just registered for the GREs in the hopes that I can gain admission
to some other grad school besides my alma mater. The field of study is
still yet to be decided, but at least I've taken some sort of action.
March 18, 2006 is the date. Hopefully, it'll be ok, for I haven't taken
a closed-book exam for almost two years now. I had take-home exams for
the final semesters of my masters program...As for my heart yearning for change, that might require a bit more work.
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Newest additions to playlist:
Jeffrey Gaines, "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"
_The Myth_ Soundtrack - Jackie Chan and Hee-Seon Kim, "Endless Love"
Comments (2)
maybe to a school where the female population outright outnumbers males if you catch my drift ^_~
>m^.^m<
change is good, but you have to realize... we are who we are, it's like changing a statue. You can either complete break down and start from scratch (military method, often the quickest and the most tramatic) or take it from heart and do it piecewise...
but seems like you already know. Don't give up...
hey calvin, i've always known you're the type of person who always crave learning, so whichever field you choose to take, i wish you good luck!
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