August 24, 2005

• it's just a walk in the park

  Earlier in the evening, I didn't feel like staying in the house after
  getting home from work late once again, so I decided to climb into my
  car and simply follow wherever my conscience would lead me.

  My housemate, troy305, suggested
  that I try going to the Newport area in Jersey City. That idea was
  abandoned once I circled around the area three times in a vain attempt
  at finding parking.

  Hoboken, I thought, thinking of what the next
  closest town was. Hoboken seemed like a safe enough place, having lived
  there for about six and a half years before moving to Jersey City.

  Upon arriving at Hoboken, I pulled into a parking spot right by the
  train station and walked out in search of food.

  As I left the recently opened
  Quizno's to pick up a quick sandwich, I realized that I needed to find a
  place to eat.

  The waterfront, I mused as I weighed it in my head as a
  possibility. It was the same waterfront that was formerly a bunch of
  dirt
  piles and abandoned government buildings. A few years ago, the city of
  Hoboken transformed the area into a park with an unobstructed view of
  the New
  York City skyline.

  In spite of it being nine o'clock in the evening, I couldn't help but notice that several people had the
  same idea as myself. There were people walking, jogging, and, of
  course, at least two or three yuppie couples performing questionable activities
  of a physical nature. (Ahem.)

  Anyway, I sat in the middle of a small staircase and began to eat the sandwich I had just picked up.

  Immediately in front of me was the famed Manhattan skyline.
  It was that realization that caused my mind to wander. The lights emanating from the
  skyscrapers and the sashaying of the Hudson River waves had a sort of
  calming effect, almost as if the music of a soft harp was playing
  in the background.

  For a moment, I stared in disbelief. How could something so calm as what's in front of me be the source of much of the stress in my life?

  I marvelled to myself at the irony of my own rhetorical question.

  My mind began thinking of recent events. Last night, I was looking into
  employment opportunities with the United Nations and its many
  organizations. One of the positions was for a software developer with
  six years experience in Vienna, Austria. I thought again of what it
  might be like. Money wouldn't be a problem; the pay listed was
  excellent and more than I would ever make here as a
  software developer, and the benefits were absolutely incomparable to
  the private sector. Realistically, it would be difficult; I knew
  absolutely no German, so it would be very difficult to assimilate
  easily into that country.

  But what if it were France, Belgium, or Switzerland? Would I leave?
  Language likely wouldn't be a problem in any of those places.

  The image of the stationary skyline stood in front of me, as if it were
  telling me something I could not discern.Would I miss the skyline? No,
  it wasn't the skyline. I have family and friends here, and most
  certainly, they would be missed.

  But yet, the river's waves were giving me a message of a different nature.

  Movement, I thought to myself, confident, continuous movement. What would that be like, moving to another state or country?

  I couldn't answer that question at the time, and even as I drove back home, I still didn't have an answer.

  ~~~

  Now that I think about it, perhaps I should have listened to the river for a bit longer.

  • 12:17 am
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